Our First Casualty

I knew when I stuck my hand up and In the great chasm in our wall known as the mail drop, that something was wrong. Thin plastic loosely surrounding what I knew to be a post card. This is a tale of What happens when you mail a sheet of duct tape. When Scuff first saw it he was drawn to it and felt that he needed to turn it into a postcard, that wonderful silver sheet of tape.
It made it from Portland to St. Louis, but not from St. Louis back to Portland, after it'd been in the hands of the amazing Auntie Entity, and tossed back to sender.... Somewhere in the postal system there's a gummed up machine, a product of our error...











I guess that's a lesson learned...


- glad that's done...

Dream Small: Puppy Panties and Clint Eastwood's Chair.

Dream Small, Clint Eastwood's Chair.

The puppy panties are, horrifyingly, a real product.

 A gem from Erma in Hong Kong:

 (but here, an easily overlooked and masterful detail):

Hello there, little talking fart-bubble!!

Erma declined to add any further embellishments. I can't argue with her assessment of this card's potential...."Happy Lifestyle" Indeed!)

OOOH! Mt. St. Helen(a)

Did someone say "digital European cheese"? That's my favorite! except for Government Cheeze.

Who's gonna make me "say UMBRELLA"?

You know what? If it gets the above terrifying visual hangover away from me, really quickly, I will SAY UMBRELLA...ELLA...ELLA....

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

So, um, moving right along:

how lovely - a lovely, fuzziness - fuzzinesses makes DDJ sooooo happeeee! 

*squee*

FUZZZZZEEEEEEE *LUVSSSSSSS*

I think Skuffie was behind this one - he's the kind of guy to light the flamethrower

(insert smiley face)

Some really good advice!

Of course, this describes my favorite activity exactly.

And here's a little teaser of the next installment:

Today while Christmas eve windowshopping, Scuffy and I came across a vintage postcard selection. We found no dates to Tell us the age of these great cards, but in the upper right-hand corner, The postcard was only asking for a one cent stamp...


- glad that's done...

Hong to the Kong to the Lou to the 'Port.

OK, so that was a lame header for this post.... 

It's good to know DDJ follows instruction well, as you can see, she did what she was told, and forwarded the card unto me.  Good Girl.  

- glad that's done...

Not all instructions come with words

Lets discuss.... You see that jagged white line there?  Do you see the scissors?  That Denitria is all about ignoring the rules and regulations.  

This post card didn't start out in the mail... But it will surely have it's day!

- glad that's done...

Hair.

There's a LOT of work and love in this one.... Yet I wonder which hair she was lusting after.... Likely, with her Fart Start, he's not going to want her the way she wants him.... or his hair.









- glad that's done...

excellence in Vuitton placement

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- glad that's done...

ENTITY ATTACK!! And it ain't by Auntie, neither.

I received this post card the other day but have been so incredibly freaked out by it I haven't been able to post about it until now. Even now, I'm not really sure if I can stay calm long enough to do this entry....
No, I can do this.
I'm not afraid.
I ain't ascared of no ghosts!
The Skuffmeister sent a

POSTCARD THAT IS HAUNTED!!

Yes, friends.  If you dare, keep reading to see the evidence for yourselves.

 The amusing, but unhaunted message:

A CLEARLY VISIBLE ENTITY:

(image #1 below):

See it? Sitting on the bench! It's giving me the bird and glaring at me with it's beady glowing eye. The Bugger. Actually, maybe it's farting. Either way; RUDE.

 NO ENTITY!!!!

(image #2 below)

Just a faint slime trail of ectoplasm. Ewwww. Maybe still a beady, glowing eye. 

OH MY GAWWWWWD IT IS SO SCARY! 

(maybe Skuffie should've capitalized the word God, or used gods plural or Hepzebah or Orion or Zeus or something. All I know is, this postcard is HAUNTED and it's getting out of my house!)

Air Foul.

It's always good to know that your friends mentally associate YOU with FARTING.... 

______________________________________________________________________________

Now THIS is love...
When DDJ gets all cuddly and cutesy, you KNOW 

she must'a ate some bad shit fer lunch.

Pickled Penguin, maybe???

- glad that's done...

skiddy mail porn??

2 things:

the receiver of this postcard is not a blogger here
the post office may burn this card in hell with the rest of the smut they destroy

so, i have taken it on myself to get this creation on the blog cause i can't stop laughing about it

Not for postcards, but...

This is just something that needs to be shared to the world. I think. Click it.

Yo. Erma has discovered this.

Hi. I don't understand how to do this (mainly because half of it is in 12pt traditional chinese...-.-), but if this uploads, here's a photo of something that's about to become horribly edited and coming your way xoxogossipermagoat. and daym thats a sext hand, ain't it?

Skuffie aka Klapp the Love Puppet. Gun Shy??

I don't have the actual footage of Klapp the Love Puppet ready to post here. I don't have it because I don't know how to transfer it from where it is to here, where it needs to be (yet).
Patience.
Patience.

MEANWHILE

Allow me to take this moment to spotlight another lively contributor to TOXIC HAIR AVENGER:

SKUFF

(the skuffman)

(Skuffmeister)

 STUDSKUFFIN

Oh, wow, I've completely forgotten if that's what his 'club name' is or if I just decided that is what it will be.

I'm kind of like that.

Skuffie has contributed some highly disturbing postcards of extremely high quality. I will present two of them here, just as a wee little introduction or "coming out party."

BEHOLD:

 There is just so much horror in the creepy "worship" sign-language demonstration lady. It's blood-chilling, in a good way, like a good/bad scary movie. 

All happily creeped out by the awesomeness of the creepy lady, one flips over to the back and :

BLAM!!! TOXIC AVENGER IN YOUR FACE!!!! 

 

 WOWZERS!! How about a big ol' can of WHAT THE F**K!?!?!

Skuffie, I think I love you.

Now let's have a slightly calmer tidbit

from the Swingline (tm) stapler of love:

   

   

     Hmmmmm. This one bears some pondering. There is much pervosity here, methinks. 

Welcome to Toxic Hair Avenger, Skuffie. You're a Natural.

Up All Night. And....Introducing our International Contributor: Erma!

Somebody's gotten a little off topic and so somebody else needs to get the cart back behind the horse. Except that makes no sense. Big deal. It's not like people in Latvia, Russia, the Ukraine or random South American countries are looking at this. Yet.
Some disturbing news is keeping DDJ up far, far beyond bedtime. Sleep-Deprived DDJ's are even more dangerous than DDJ's with sleep.
Therefore, in order to distract the DDJ of Deviance and Dismaying Evil, we introduce a new Contributor who is soon to begin posting (we hope) from The Far East. As in Not in the USA or Even Close.  We call her "Erma" and here are a few of her subtle and ironic mailings:

(my favorite: "hipster double D" - brilliance!)

"Huntoon"??

"gablue"??

I guess I ain't, cause this DDJ got no clue. She's brilliant, Erma is.

Welcome to Toxic Hair Avenger, Ermie.